I Started the Relationship Off Cheating on Her

No, those words definitely did not come out of my mouth. However, they were words I heard roll off another man’s tongue.

A few weeks ago, I was out with some friends listening to live country music and dancing. I was en route to the restroom when I overheard a male talking to one of his friends and those words echoed like fingernails on a chalkboard into my ears.

“I started the relationship off cheating on her”

My initial thought for response was to go over to him, slap him upside the head, and give him a long talk about honoring women, relationships, and ultimately The Lord. Although the slap in the head might have given me an opportunity for quite an interesting story, I opted out of confronting him all together and continued on my way.

Every time I think back to what I heard that evening, and even say out loud what the man had sad, it stirs my heart and frustrates me a little bit. It makes me wonder…..


Whether you believe and have faith in Jesus or not, this is no way to treat women. And as men in the American culture, we have accepted the lies that:

1. We don’t treat women with the honor, dignity, and respect that they deserve; They are just people.

2. The more sexual relations we have, the more fulfilled we will become.

Those two statements couldn’t be farther from the TRUTH.

I won’t get too theologically in depth about dating and how my relationship with Jesus and the Word of God have shaped my views on how dating as a son or daughter in Christ should be, at least not in this post. But I do want to address those two lies and replace them with truth that comes from none other than the Holy Bible.

STATEMENT #1 REBUTTAL- In Ephesians Chapter 5 Paul tells men how they should be treating their wives. Verse 25 says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” First, I would like to point out that this isn’t a suggestion, it’s a command. Secondly, I understand that this is directed towards husbands and how they should treat their wives. However, if we as men do not begin to treat women with the love, honor, and respect that Christ did and as Paul commands before we are married, how can expect to be able to do that WHEN we get married? Character isn’t built overnight, it’s a process.

STATEMENT #2 REBUTTAL- Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. -Corinthians 6:18. Once again we have Paul addressing something in the Church. Nothing in this world can fulfill the longing in our soul except Jesus. We can chase money, fame, drugs, alcohol, material things, and sex. But none of those will actually make us feel complete. The Lord intended sexual relations to between a man and his wife. Period. Paul follows that by saying in verse 17: “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own”. We are to treat our bodies as such, and that includes how we conduct ourselves in sexual relations.

We desperately need to change how our culture views dating, relationships, and sex. And it starts in our own hearts, in our own homes, and on our knees in prayer to the maker of heaven and earth.

I will later post more specifics on dating in a way that honors Christ, but until then I want to leave you with this statement from Doug Clark:

“We live in a world that sentimentalizes mothers and women in general. On Mother’s Day we send cards, give gifts, and maybe take our wives or our mothers out to a restaurant. But what do we do the day after that? We treat women as if they are inferior creatures who are only good for cooking, cleaning house, and having babies.

The United States has one of the highest rates of violence against women and abuse of young girls. We are one of the world’s deepest cesspools of pornography. In many ways, we have little room to criticize or condemn the Muslim world.

Jesus, on the other hand, treated His mother and all women with the deepest respect. We honor all women by showing them the same love and respect that Jesus showed to women.

Women have been abused and put down by men–sometimes very crudely and cruelly. But Jesus is the perfect man, the man God wants every man to emulate. This is the kind of man God wants every woman to know in her life.”


As always…. here is a video. A great message to women.


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